Friday, September 30, 2011

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

Regrets—I’ve had a few. And I reflected on them a bit this afternoon after reading the “My Favorite Mistake” column in the latest Newsweek. If only I’d followed a different professional path, I coulda been XYZ by now. Given another shot, I woulda done XYZ another way. I shoulda (or shoulda never) taken XYZ steps with my career.

The longer it takes to find a job, the easier it is for these backtracking thoughts to surface. Like many job-seekers, I recognize the wasted time in dwelling on regrets and have come up with a few tricks for banishing them. (Take a quick walk, turn on the radio and sing along for a song or two, pet the cat, like a few things on Facebook.) We all know (don’t we?) that, despite what Newsweek thinks, there are no mistakes—except for looking back with regret on steps we took in the name of reasonable risk. I saw a tweet the other day that said something along the lines of: Without risk, there is no opportunity. No matter how hard risk may be, it’s essential for personal growth. Not every risk I’ve taken has moved me forward in a traditional professional sense, but I’ve always gained experience, made valuable additional contacts and developed friendships that I’d be hard-pressed to give up if I could have a do-over.

Still, during a recent job interview, when asked about my departure from one particular job, I had to admit/say it: “I made a mistake.”

If Newsweek asks me to write an installment of their column, I might have to turn them down:).  What about you? Would you characterize any of your career steps as regretful—and tell us all about it--or lump it in with lessons learned?

One big lesson I’m learning is this: When your gut tells you to apply for a job because the description lights up your face and gets the wheels turning about growth opportunities, and the compensation seems fair and manageable, ignore the nagging coulda, woulda, shoulda cousins: couldn’t, wouldn’t and shouldn’t. Those internal voices love to chant, “I couldn’t be happy with that work. I wouldn’t be advancing my career. I shouldn’t pursue that job.” I know better than to listen to cousins.

2 comments:

- Kevin said...

I second your point. Whether it's a project that bombed, and job you left prematurely, or a job that asked YOU to leave prematurely, admitting to mistakes can be very powerful in an interview.

No reasonable person can expect you to be perfect (and would you want to work for someone who did?), but given the dynamic of a job interview, admitting to failure is wholly unexpected. You can use this to your advantage IF you can demonstrate what you learned from the experience. By saying "I botched that one, and I learned XYZ from the experience", you demonstrate honesty and self-awareness - two traits that are in great demand.

As for "coulda, woulda, shoulda", apply for the job...there's plenty of time between the resume and the offer letter to decide whether you're really interested, but you'll never find out if you don't start the process.

Gerry Romano, CAE said...

Kevin, thanks for your great insights--wise, practical and helpful. Gerry