Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

Regrets—I’ve had a few. And I reflected on them a bit this afternoon after reading the “My Favorite Mistake” column in the latest Newsweek. If only I’d followed a different professional path, I coulda been XYZ by now. Given another shot, I woulda done XYZ another way. I shoulda (or shoulda never) taken XYZ steps with my career.

The longer it takes to find a job, the easier it is for these backtracking thoughts to surface. Like many job-seekers, I recognize the wasted time in dwelling on regrets and have come up with a few tricks for banishing them. (Take a quick walk, turn on the radio and sing along for a song or two, pet the cat, like a few things on Facebook.) We all know (don’t we?) that, despite what Newsweek thinks, there are no mistakes—except for looking back with regret on steps we took in the name of reasonable risk. I saw a tweet the other day that said something along the lines of: Without risk, there is no opportunity. No matter how hard risk may be, it’s essential for personal growth. Not every risk I’ve taken has moved me forward in a traditional professional sense, but I’ve always gained experience, made valuable additional contacts and developed friendships that I’d be hard-pressed to give up if I could have a do-over.

Still, during a recent job interview, when asked about my departure from one particular job, I had to admit/say it: “I made a mistake.”

If Newsweek asks me to write an installment of their column, I might have to turn them down:).  What about you? Would you characterize any of your career steps as regretful—and tell us all about it--or lump it in with lessons learned?

One big lesson I’m learning is this: When your gut tells you to apply for a job because the description lights up your face and gets the wheels turning about growth opportunities, and the compensation seems fair and manageable, ignore the nagging coulda, woulda, shoulda cousins: couldn’t, wouldn’t and shouldn’t. Those internal voices love to chant, “I couldn’t be happy with that work. I wouldn’t be advancing my career. I shouldn’t pursue that job.” I know better than to listen to cousins.

Barry Manilow’s Work Ethic

Say whatever you want about Barry Manilow, but the bottom line that you cannot erase is: Barry worked his way out of a rough Brooklyn, New York, childhood. It’s one thing to be born with a gift, as he was; it’s another thing to put it to work, despite all odds.

Yep, I went to Barry’s D.C. concert at The Warner last night, and it was beyond fabulous! Total schmaltz, full orchestra, amazing dancers, streamers bursting in the air, Barry hitting all the notes on every hit song, and all of his charming stories. And, of course, the Barry moves. Once my post-Barry high subsided a bit, I did what I do with everything these days: I thought about how the event applies to job hunting. The main application: Work hard and smart and believe in yourself, and you, too, can get people to buy the never-sell “This One’s for You.” 

I find inspiration in so many places from so many people that I sometimes feel like the biggest sap on the planet. Then balance comes, and I allow some sarcasm--after all, I *am* from Brooklyn! Last night was a piece of inspiration cake. Who or what is the most unusual person or event or thing that has inspired you lately?

Happiness Loves Company

I received terrific news last night from a fellow job hunter: He landed a great new position! We'd been checking in with each other regularly, swapping leads and ideas and supporting each other when the news to share was negative. I’m thrilled to give him the boot from my job-searching group of friends. His success is well deserved, resulting not only from strong professional qualifications but persistent and smart search efforts. Admiring the strategy, intensity, and positive attitude that he brought to the job-hunting process, I’m newly motivated about my search.

Extra energized this morning, I signed up for Toastmasters, following up on a professional development goal that I set during the ASAE conference. Thanks to another friend who touched base earlier today, I put that plan in action. I also registered for another networking event and—of course—applied for another interesting-sounding job. Taking another friend’s suggestion, I also joined the Washington Post contest for a temporary work advice columnist. After all, I love to compete and don’t mind offering suggestions for dealing with office dysfunction.

Considering how much support I’ve received from people in just the past 24 hours—motivation, an invitation, a suggestion, and a nudge-- I’m reminded of how wise it is to tell others about a job search and let them help, and I’m eager to offer help to someone else. What’s the best thing that you’ve done for a friend or colleague today?

Because You Just Never Know

This is more reminder than rocket science: When faced with rejection, as I was today, the best thing to do is to let the employer know that you’d like to be considered for future openings. Stay strong enough on the rejection call to get that message across. Then you can hang up and crumble and e-mail your friends and be reassured that you’re terrific and eat a pint of ice-cream. But first, after you hear the terrible news, don’t give in to the gut reaction of wanting to get off the phone as quickly as possible. Thank the caller, wish the organization the very best as it moves forward, and conclude with the positive message that you enjoyed being considered a candidate and would be delighted to talk in the future about any new positions.

And why not? Did the organization in which you were so interested suddenly become dull or evil? Did the people you met during interviews – people you wanted so much as your new colleagues – suddenly change? No, and no. And even if the organization never does have another job opening that feels right for you, those folks with whom you connected may not be on that staff forever. Someone might leave to move onto another organization and contact you about job openings there.

Stay positive. Stay connected. Because you just never know.